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Why I'm Not Angry
Yesterday, I went to a conference with Anson and a bunch of his friends. The worship was what we were all looking forward to. Upon arrival, we eagerly went to the best seats we could find. Then at 7, they did communion and then we waited until 8 and the worship began. It was great and Anson was so enthusiastic about the drummer and things of that sort.

I email you guys for two things: yesterday's message and Baba. Yesterday's message was a very powerful message. The speaker talked about what the cross costed God. Many of us would automatically think "Well, the cross was Jesus' death. It was physical pain that he had to pay." But what is torture to someone divine? What is death to someone eternal? And then he asked again what did the cross cost God?

There were clips of The Passion in the background as he spoke about the many things Jesus had to endure. And he said that there is a form of torture that exists now that can break a human's spirit and soul. It's where you torture someone and make them feel pain. Then you take their child and make them watch as they tortured their child. Because of someone's great love for their child, it is the purest form of torture.

So then, he tells us about how God the father had to watch God the son(Jesus) go through all this. God the father had to go and let Jesus die. Jesus knew he'd be forsaken by others, he knew he'd be persecuted wrongly, he knew his disciples would abandon him in fear of their own lives, but when he asked the question "Abba, why have you forsaken me?", it was heartbreaking. To have a child ask a parent "Why do you hate me?" is such a killing question. Because of God's great love of us as people, did he let his one and only son die. Because he loved us and cared for us so much, he let his son die the harshest death they had to offer.

I wanted to also share that I've realized that Baba died in the same sense as Jesus. I know that you guys already know that but I'd like to share anyway. He was wrongly killed, he was killed mercilessly, and he died because he loved and cared for his workers. His love must be very great to be able to have the will to die for someone he doesn't have to die for. In the same way, Jesus died for us because he loved us. He died for us to save us. He didn't have to die. He didn't have to do any of that. He could have saved himself if he wanted to. But our God is such a selfless God. Baba was such a selfless person.

You guys ask me why I'm not angry. The answer I have to give is simply because I don't see the need of getting angry. Baba died a heroic death and I honor him for that. There are things that happen because they were meant to. Jesus was betrayed by Judas because someone had to betray him. Jesus was meant to die on the cross. I think Baba was meant to die for the sake of three lives and the capture of one killer. True, that doesn't justify Andrade killing Baba but I just feel like this is God's plan and anger will only make ourselves worse.

I have 100% faith that this guy will be caught.

___c h a r l o t t e.h u a n g